It is a common personal development teaching to talk about appreciating, loving and validating yourself. In short, we are encouraged to meet our own needs.
Valuable advice in many ways and of course useful , especially when spoken to someone in the context of their life in the right timing.
Any advice or teaching , however, can be taken too literally and applied so rigidly that it creates more suffering than joy.
Recently I invited a sampling of people to complete this sentence:
“What I need help with is…”
The responses were very interesting and were distinctly different for those who had done quite a bit of personal development as compared to those who hadn’t.
People who hadn’t done much personal development answered with responses like:
“I need help with marketing my business.”
“I need help keeping on track with my gym program.”
“I need help with putting what I have learned into practice.”
Those who had done more personal development either chose not to answer or responded with comments like:
“Thanks , I don’t need help with anything.”
The difference between the groups was so startling, it raised the question for me:
“Can we be too independent?”
At the end of the day, no matter how spiritually or personally developed we are, we are human beings. And human beings, ( as long as we exist in the form of flesh, blood and brains ), have needs.
Just on a survival level, we need to eat, drink, detox and sleep (and procreate if we are to going to keep this gig going). To thrive, we have other needs to be met – needs like experiencing love, joy, happiness and fulfilment.
At every step along this human journey there is opportunity to be vulnerable and ask for help with whatever it is that will assist us in moving forward. The added bonus is that the process of receiving help will involve engaging, interacting and learning from other human beings who have, just like us, learned a thing or two through their life process.
Asking for help is not a weakness. It shows a deep level of awareness and acknowledgement of where you are at, what you want and what is going on for you that you are unable to resolve with your current skill sets. Celebrate this and know that by asking for help you are meeting your own needs – in one of the highest and most energy efficient ways possible.